Those Security Codes

I am on the phone with My Benefits Department in Regards to my retirement account.

So They want to email the PIN….which is another few days. (Which I do not have)

So my first security question.

Name your favourite musical group.

Me -“IHNFI”
I Just took a guess ..REM…….
Lady on Phone (LOP) -wrong

So I am put on hold…..

LOP back of Hold- “I Cant give you the password”
ME – How about Counting Crows
LOP –Right
ME –I don’t like them anymore.
LOP –According to this you do.

OKAY Next Question –

What’s your favourite radiostation….?

ME –WTF
LOP – NO
ME –KCRW
Her –Yes that’s correct..

Yoga Journal

Practicing Bikram's Yoga will increase your chances of having better health and more fun on your adventures in life!!!

Our studio is located at:4831 NE Fremont503-284-0555

Mon. - Fri.: 6:00 AM, 9:30 AM, 4:30 PM, 6:30 PMSat. & Sun.: 7:30 AM, 9:30 AM, 4:30 PM

I understand that going to Bikram Yoga for the first time in your life can possibly suck. Its intimidating with the entire routine of where to change, what shoes not to wear and of course what cloths to wear and not to wear.

Our first class together we had Mark as a tacher and I love him as a teacher. I knew he would guide Smarty pants through the work out. For me class was not that much of a drag, to tell you the truth it went rather with out incident. it was really nice to be back. There are certain poses I did not try.

Well Jen did fantastic, staying in the room and getting it done. Of course I love walking around after class and just looking at the world. Its even better when Jen does this with me and of course the obligitory stop at Beaumont Market and there Beer Cave. Not a bad combination. Not a bad evening.

The Rite-Aid Diaries

Damn I hate that store but its right down the street and its convienent...

The other Day as I was leaving

There was this big assed truck parked in by the afore mentioned Rite Aid and i was walking with the kids (10 and 12) ...this truck had giant tires and the owner was leaning out the passenger side window cleaning the wind shield.....and stupid me says to the guy (attired in 18 gold chains - with a bumper sticker that reads -"Fat Chicks Not Allowed") ....

Me- You look like are growing out of your truck.
Chain Guy With Truck- "Damn Mother Fucking Seagulls Gone and Shit on my Windows
My Kids -start laughing hysterically
Me - I love Seagulls
Chain Guy With Truck- "Mother Fucker Sea Gulls .....I Could Beat the Shit out of Them....
Me - (whispering) he probably can......
My Kids - "Now Laughing hysterically"-"Dad ask him if he can Fly"
Me - Just keep walking....

Rings is this bleached blond who talks way more than should with every purchase (and she got the nickname because she has a ring on every finger) so customers try to avoid her line because customers just want a quick in and out, without the Drama.

Well tonight the ever so talkative guy in front of me wanted a quick in and out with Rings and I was standing in line just minding my own business as the non transaction in front of me was taking way longer than it should ( I was carry some heavy stuff) and she looks at the guy and says . I need to serve the next guy in line.

She was happy to wait on me and surprisingly glad to get rid of the Cowboy hitting on her (of course she told me that). I always thought she dressed the way she did at that cruddy store just to attract a guy like that. Well apparently not, so Don't judge a book by its cover especially if it is bleached blonde and wearing 11 rings.

Poems

My Homeless Friend

rain pouring down soaking wet
to the bone the core where it’s all
the brunt of the day the meal for
the day based on your honed ability
to dig for all the cans you can get.

as in beer cans soda cans pop bottle
the bane of existence the reason
for waking up that dime for every
bottle left out in the streets makes my
favourite homeless friend a role model

living life as simple as it can get
riding bag laden bike warming gloves
at fast food restaurant dimes add up
to dollars and miles add up to smiles
to the nicest homeless guy I have met.


Marina
A child is born onto this earthIt’s a secret to them and theyscream out for direction a Loving hand the nurtures cradlesLoving them for what its worth.Suddenly emerges butterfly with wingsTaking shape evolving learningTo fly alluding nets unforeseenMagically becoming a goddess And all serenity and happiness bringsMarina goddess of the sea and waterOnce my little pumpkin clear brownEyes sparkle the darkness that unfoldedInto a sparkling sunrise that some howEmerged into a beautiful baby daughter.

Marina and Painting

kids
some how
choose what they
want to do and yesterday
was weird enough in it’s self.
so I ask Marina what she wants to
do tonight and she said. Paint the basement.
and if that wasn’t the oddest answer an odder thing also
happened. She did a wonderful job painting that
basement floor a pretty shiny green with new
bounce and energy in that room and you
know what everytime I enter that
room I will remember..


Green Marina

basement floor shiny
green painted by tiny angel
skipping homework to

be green with her dad
as green paint is permanent
as the memories

Crosswords
The late night crossword puzzle ninety
percent solved lying on the kitchen table with
clues un answered as tomorrow’s paper
has just been delivered with answers to
yesterday’s questions, that usually go unread.

And on rare occasion, when the puzzler,
the solver reads yesterdays answers they quietly
kick them self believing they knew the answer
and stored somewhere for another day rarely
retrieved left unresolved for another late night
crossword puzzle session.

Late Night
The peace and
Absolute quiet and
Serenity of a resting
House with four once raging
Little whirlwinds snuggled away
On their respected beds, with their
Big dreams in their little bodies set of
Subtlety by a clock ticking away, a warm
Breeze blowing through an open window and
A lonely street sweeper- giving a whirl wind semi
Colon respite from this day to a completely all together
Different day as time and notion parade happily without cadence
At the speed of one second per second, predictably and randomly.


why can eight lines
leave me mesmerized....



The Palm Tree

You know what.
You have really caught my attention.....

I had a giant palm tree...
I planted it a while ago
It was beautiful.
It died during an ice storm
last year.....
I missed that big old shade tree.
A little green sprout popped up through
the ground yesterday...

It reminded me of you.


26.2Miles

Lifes egnimatic puzzleswhirl twister like randomly throwing cross roads where ironically the turns were predetermined...Hands you Lemons.....and more lemons and paladrome melonsmelancholy acidicgentle reminders...of painful milesinverted smilespiles of themfiles of themthe final milemuscles ripple jaggedendorphin distortedfaded hope of finishingvanishes as oasis likefinish line appears....there she is brighteyed beautiful as Iwonder how long thelight took to arrive to make her look this way.

Busy Goes to the Hospital

Axioms for a Random Life

One Foggy morning I reluctantly rose out of bed about two hours earlier than usual and I had my dreams fresh in my head. Dreams can be illusive. In one dream my daughter Marina asked me to clean the filters on the heating system as Mommy always had worried about those filters. When the filters get clogged the heating system labors and in some cases the system uses oil much quicker than normal. So for some reason, I just thought about it for a second and instinctually got out of bed and marched down into the basement. I fumbled for the flashlight and surprisingly in five minutes the filters were scoured and clean as a whistle. This act alone surprised me as I am not the most handy person on earth and I never seem to no where the flash lights are.And as I was putting the filters back in I looked on the floor and to my surprise there was a gentle surprise. Hidden near the heater, I found a pair of brown cords that I had been missing for months as well as well as a favourite CD that was missing for the same period.
Two weeks ago I was sitting at the computer and heard a yelp from across the street. . . . My dog had been hit by a car. I rushed out as fast as I could and yelled, 'That’s's my dog,' as people gathered around my battered Basset 'Busy.' Without me saying a word, people, total strangers, were instantly on cell phones calling vets. The driver was so upset. And she had a child in the car. I calmed her and told her not to give it a second thought.
Another stranger out of nowhere jumped out of his car with towels. I have no idea his name and I still have his towel. Another girl who had stopped yelled out, “Put the dog in my car and I'll drive him to the vet.” The stranger with the towels helped me lift the scared and battered basset. He was heavy, and within two minutes of (my) arriving at the scene the panting and stunned dog was in the car and headed to the hospital.Courtney, I learned on the ride to the hospital was a full time Nanny and worked at a local Café, drove very calmly and safely right to the hospital (the directions to which the guy with the towells had scribbled down). "She stayed with me until I was no longer needed at the hospital and gave me a ride back home. It's not like I don't have a ton of friends. These events all just happened and people instantly responded with kindness.The doctor said Busy probably will be fine. He's a strong dog. But all I know is he got there as fast as possible with the spontaneous kindness of people who went that extra mile to be just plain nice. They were very sweet. And I thank them.

Two weeks later, I walked out the front door slowly walking my still sore dog and my neighbor whom I never knew ran was starting his run....I quickly said....Hey do you want somebody to run with.He kindly smiled and said sure....so I changed quickly and we were off on a pleasant conversation filled run where at two miles....I recognized a placeWhere the girl workedWho drove Busy to the hospitalafter he was hit by a Car
[A total stranger before the accident]
Suddenly
I stopped in mid runCourtney she was working
And her face lit up.
And I told her Busy's going to be okay.She smiled a smile
I will always remember.I like smiles like that.


This life we live is random and if we keep our eyes open there are many beautiful people and beautiful things right in our own neighborhood, even our own houses. And within that, it nice to be kind to those you do in fact come in contact with. And many times this is not predetermined. It is random, it is quirky but the one consistency that keeps coming back to me is follow your dreams, listen to your children and live an active and balanced life.

Wreckless Ramblings

Just one random sunny evening on a cloudy day
Out of nowhere seems like I was venturing somewhere
When I was looking at the crescent moon
For what it was worth on that moonless day
Pops up this little glint of sunshine.

Guess what as per usual on this a typical
cloudy radiant sunny day this brief little
epic insight willowy terse sweet chirpy
little sparrow shyly taps me on the shoulder
and says Hey Its Me.

This Simian Life

In the final days of his imploding candidacy, John McCain has taken a page out of Richard Nixon's play book, finding increasingly bizarre explanations for his political failures. Strangest of all: He reportedly feels his handlers forced him to wear "gay sweaters."
According to one insider, the knit-picking was the crescendo of a tirade by the Arizona senator, in which he blistered aides about the minutiae of the campaign. While many septuagenarians live in a perpetual state of sweater weather, McCain reportedly declared his frustration with being told to don the perceived homosexual outerwear in order to look younger and more approachable.

There is not much to comment here except the obvious as one would think that somebody running for president would be able to think for them selves, but then my mind wonders over to our current president and I'll let you be the judge...

And why would one even own a sweater in Arizona.? Please drop out othe race as your stupid.

Last weekend, Kent Couch settled down in his lawn chair with some snacks — and a parachute. Attached to his lawn chair were 105 large helium balloons. Destination: Idaho.

In this case kent was smart and wore a sweater. Actualy it is rumored that he was on his way to Arizona to pick up McCain and his gun sans the sweaters.

Bikram Yoga -Cracking the Code

Bikram Yoga -Cracking the Code
Notes from a novice and former skeptic .

Note -This is a work in progress and may change at any time depending on my mood which is suppossed to improve with each passing class.

Warm up

In Yoga, it is very important to do some Warm-up Poses before a session so you will be physically ready for the Yoga Poses that you want to practice. Moreover, Warm-up exercises will prepare your body for more difficult poses in the future. In this section, learn some poses and exercises that you can do before a Yoga class:

Basically I get there 15 minutes early and stretch out what hurts. The teacher tells us to keep our eyes open and be in the room. I just close my eyes and try to take a nap hoping to wake up 12o minutes later.

Standing Poses

1,=.Pranayama

Standing deep breathing -

I kind of like this one it makes me breath deeply and I can usually space out and not listen. This one gives me a mental feel for my state of mind for the night. If I have not thought only 83 more minutes left ....Its not going to be a bad night

Its weird how deep breathing makes you sweat from the elbows. But this serves as an enjoyable beginning to a yoga practice.

Standing Side Stretch Pose (Half moon pose with hands to feet pose)

The Standing Side Stretch Yoga Pose may give you the look of a tree swayed by wind, though this pose offers more benefits than just a stretch on your branches. This side stretch will increase the flexibility of your spine, arms, and rib cage as it stimulates the liver, kidney, and spleen functions.

This one looks so darn easy and in a way it is until you stretch futher than you need to, and my balance basically sucks anyway , nobody is going to die doing this one. The liver is very happy because you are not drinking tonight. Bikram is like that.

At the end of this series one adds a forward bend which gives one the sensation much like that of doing LSD, (not that I know what that feels like) , but the first forward bend certainly brings blood to the big head.

Pada Hastasana

Hands to feet pose -This one is very very hard and it should be as the benefits to this baby are enormous. Some literature suggests that is Greatly enhances concentration which I have no doubt about as this is a very hard stretch and just getting close to this position takes alot of mental energy...

Warrior Pose III (Virabhadrasana III)

Lift your left foot and straighten your right leg simultaneously, keeping your arms parallel to the floor. At this point, your raised leg, upper body and arms should be parallel to the floor. Give length to the entire spine by stretching your arms and your legs. This results in stretching from two sides of the back: stretching from the legs and from the arms. Keep on breathing through the belly and be careful not to bend your lower back

Thanks for reminder about keep on breathing. I tape that to my arm as this one beats the shit out of me. Click here if you want to see what it looks like. I am not going to sugar coat this one...Its a good work out for the belly and its not that hard.

I like that sweat is pouring off your face like a water fall. A short mini-skirt is recomended for this pose. It keeps the sweat at bay. It is the only balance one i can do...Well not 100 percent correct...but I can do it...

Eagle Pose - Garudasana

When you look at Eagle Pose, it seems to be all about balancing while standing on one leg, and it's easy to get freaked out about that and lose out on the great shoulder opening you get from the arms portion of the pose. So what if you take the legs out of the equation? Try doing just the arms portion while seated in a comfortable position such as Sukasana.

Basically you take your left arm under

your right arm and twist it as hard as you can

and you jam it under your chin with your

fingers pointing upward and then you take

your opposite leg and throw it over your knee

and wrap the toe aroung the opposite ankle.

Floor series

14. Pavanamuktasana

Wind removing pose -basically you remove all your wind by pronouncing this word three times.Basically pull your right knee toward you left shoulder trying to lengthen the spine...The the left leg and both legs together. I like this one alot but its about this time in the work out I am looking ay my clock as only 38 minutes remain.

5. Sit-up

Sit-up

Benefits

• Strengthens and tightens the abdomen
• Open mouth exhalation stimulates diaphragm and eliminates toxins from lungs

The goal between these stretched are to recover you heart rate and is followed by an easy situp that I really need to concentrate on more. Its a good time to glance at the watch....

16. Bhujangasana

Cobra pose- This one truly feels good. I like this one but its a harbinger to the dreaded Locust pose (the one on the left) where by the pose is fine, but we are told to put our arms under our bodies palms down and my carpal tunnel induced arms revlt against this and this starts my gradual meltdown for the the next 24 minutes of class...

FAQ's

Why is the room heated? - f you think about it, it makes sense. To best benefit from any exercise program we should always warm our bodies up and at the end warm down. The temperature of the yoga room is similar to our body’s own temperature. This facilitates faster improvement in many of the benefits resulting from your yoga practice. Just think of it as a hot day. Or better still, if you have been used to exercising you will recognise that the best feelings come when you are at the peak of your exercise and your body has had enough time to generate the warmth from the inside radiating it out to all of your muscles.

The real truth- All of that is fine, but this merit charging 15.00 a class....And it honestly makes the water Melon after class taste so much better.


Quotes

"I hate this class, but I love the following 24 hours after class."

Me before my third class...


"Thanks Michael, I somewhat liked that class."

Me after my ninth class....